I stumbled across this brilliant and oh-so-true Buzzfeed list about the job search process.
But given that it doesn't include the interview process and how heart-wrenching that can be, I felt compelled to add a few of my own thoughts using lovely Mean Girls pictures to describe the incredibly vulnerable process of putting it all out on the table for the result you totally didn't want (WHO would show a prospective employee around the office saying "This will be your desk," and "Here's the coffee-maker," and "Oh you won't have to dress up that much when you work here," only to reject you six hours later?!?!).
1. When you do get called for an interview (especially when it's last-minute) and you start to second-guess every article of clothing you own -- even the perfectly professional pantsuit you bought specifically for interviews -- your hair color, your skin care routine, and face in general; hoping it strikes the right balance of youthful-but-mature, experienced-but-not-arrogant, and creative-but-grounded.
2. When you get to the interview and you can tell it's going pretty well with your deliberately thought-out and articulated answers and then the interviewer gets clever by asking something like this:
3. At some point during the interview you try to mention the names of your references and impressive people in your network (i.e. you babysat the Board of Directors President's kids or something), but you want to work it into conversation naturally and not look like you're just dropping names...
4. And sometimes you leave feeling like you just became new BFFs with the interveiwer because the conversation flowed so naturally, they were sufficiently impressed by your portfolio, you bonded over knowing the same people and liking the same sports teams and you basically decided that you were going to betroth your children to each other so you can be future in-laws.... and other times you leave feeling like this:
5. But you send a thank you email and mail your thank you notes (really nice letterpress cards with a thoughtful, personalized messages in your best handwriting)... and offer to send a digital portfolio, your list of references, letters of recommendation, your first-born, etc.
But you don't want to follow-up too much because it's obnoxious and you don't want your interviewer to be talking to their co-workers about you like,
6. And when you finally get the email or voicemail telling you that you're a lovely person and that they were really impressed with your qualifications but they found someone just a little more perfect than you, all it sounds like is
And you pretty much feel like,
7. And the whole process makes you horribly insecure and wonder if you're wasting all your time and did you make all the wrong life decisions... And maybe you'll have to resort to taking some horrible job just to get by...
And you're pretty sure that after another few months of this you'll become a hobo and your friends will talk about you like,
But.... there's always a bright side, because when you're not working you can make any hour happy hour.
Signing off,
 |
| seriously, i had leftover cheese fries for breakfast :/ |
No comments:
Post a Comment