#HairChat

I can't speak for everyone, but among the first things I thought about as the news of a cancer diagnosis sank in was losing my hair. It's so shallow, I know. I promise my first thought was how long I'd be able to continue to give Milo breastmilk.

Anyways, there's so many types of treatments today and chemotherapy doesn't always mean that losing hair is inevitable, but with what I'll be given it looks like that's the case. So for a week--actually within the first couple of days--I've adjusted to the thought of losing this. I've never been one to cry over a haircut--I mean it grows back--but I have control issues in terms of I hate it when I can't control something, and this is beyond my control. There was something I could do though, and that was firing the first shot, so to speak. Bear with me through awkward selfies and glimpses of our horrible original 1970's bathroom.

Things actually worked out because I'd been wanting to cut my hair anyways and thought that hair loss would probably be easier with short hair. It was the longest it had ever been but my comfort zone is really not past my shoulders. It tangled so easily, took forever to dry, and was always in the way. "Mom buns" gave me a headache from being so heavy, so it was usually in a braid. I did get a terrible picture in Heidi braids, for posterity (I'd always wanted to have Heidi braids!).

...also apparently I have Bigfoot's hands..? (see bottom left)

And since it was for the first time in my life long enough, I wanted to take the opportunity to donate it. I've heard mixed things about whether or not Locks of Love and similar nonprofits can use colored hair for wigs or other efforts to benefit their organization, but my hairdresser said she'd take care of it and I figure I'll let them work it out when they receive it.

Julianne has cut and colored my hair for more than ten years!
Guess this will probs be my last visit for awhile,
though she did so sweetly offer to help me shop for a wig.
Can you believe we cut off an almost 12-inch ponytail?!

People have asked whether I'll use a wig or scarves or just rock a bare head and truthfully it's hard to say. I'd like to think I'd be confident enough to wear nothing or maybe a little scarf or cap... but I think I want a wig as an option. I wouldn't want to stick out or get attention or pity for this situation; and for example at my brother's wedding later this year, I want to look back at the family pictures and see the beautiful happy couple, not a reminder of going through treatments. My mind could change in the coming months, since I've never been through this before I guess I'll learn as I go!

I should have done this a long time ago!
My hair is so 'bleh' when it gets long and
feels ten pounds lighter and so much healthier shorter!
(Ignore the miles and miles of bags under my eyes!)

And knowing that many people have hair grow back differently that it was before chemotherapy I'm crossing my fingers that I'll get beachy waves with amazing natural highlights and none of these current random strands of grey!

It's only hair,