I regret to inform you

I guess I only update this blog when I have big news over the last year. I swear I'm trying to get better at that; I've thought about it over the past 12 months and wanted to write, it just hasn't been a priority. Plus I feel like I don't have a "thing;" I could try being just another mommy blog, I could write about our Down syndrome experience but that's not my whole life, I don't cook or craft enough to make a DIY blog...  Just not sure where I fit in. But I digress.

gratuitous cute baby picture :)

So maybe you've noticed but there's a thing where PR/marketing types try to bury negative news on a Friday afternoon; with the hope that it goes relatively unnoticed over the weekend and disappears with the Monday news cycle. Look for this during the presidential campaigns.

Anyways, I wouldn't say I'm trying to bury this, necessarily, but I definitely regret having this news to share---some background (to skip over if you don't like breastfeeding talk):

Some of you know that I've exclusively pumped breastmilk for Milo since Day 1. This wasn't our first choice and we tried everything to get him to nurse, but it is what it is. Over the last 2-3 months I've been having some issues with pumping and as I hand-expressed, noticed what I thought was a blocked milk duct, and despite my best efforts it only got worse.

Several visits to the lactation consultant later, she and the Ob-Gyn referred me to Radiology to make sure it was just a blocked duct and not something to really worry about... An ultrasound quickly turned into a mammogram and biopsies, and 3 business days later (this past Tuesday) I was called by the Breast Care Coordinator confirming that they did find cancer.

This was unexpected and although there's never a "good time" to get this news, it's obviously not welcome when I've got such a little guy with such special needs to consider. I've already met with an oncologist and a surgeon, and following some diagnostic procedures it sounds like I will start 6 rounds of chemotherapy within the month, followed by a mastectomy this summer, and then hormone therapy. My family has been incredible but I would expect nothing less.

It's not my style to think that my health problems would be the center of anyone's universe and I don't like to be the center of attention, especially for something like this, but because I know I have such great and caring friends I will do my best to keep this updated for you and answer as many questions as I can. On a related note, because people have already started to ask, there's nothing special I need except your prayers, good vibes, loving thoughts, or just a nod to the heavens for successful treatment and healing. And I would ask that you keep Enrique and Milo in your prayers as well---E always tries to do too much and I don't want this experience to be too hard on him, and Milo is too young to understand but I want his little world to remain as familiar and comfortable and stable as possible. I worry for my family; I am so blessed to be loved by the greatest people and I know this is hurting them.

My guys.

As for me, I'm grateful for the miracles of modern medicine that are giving me the chance to fight this and recover my health, I'm grateful to have health insurance that is taking good care of me, I'm grateful for the endless support of my family and friends. And I'm inspired by countless others before me who have bravely fought this battle; there are so many who are living with cancer in their rearview mirror and I have every intention of doing the same.

Maybe there is actually something I can ask of you: don't brush off your health concerns and make sure that the people you love take care of themselves. Also, always be kind.

With so much love,